- March 9th A Day To Remember
- March 9th, 2011
Happy Anniversary to us! 42 years ago on a sunny and warm day in Concord California we said I do and we have. It's not always easy, both of us at times have wanted to run for the border, but we hang in there.
What are the secrets to a long term marriage?
Well, there aren't any secrets. It's pretty standard. Bickering is allowed but name calling isn't. We never set that up, but we never have gone that route. We never called our kids names either. I'm sure that is pretty standard in most homes these days.
Don't stay mad too long. Both of us are able to move on past a disagreement. We always heard, never go to bed mad, but that doesn't work for us. If we had to resolve something at midnight it would escalate. Better to get a good nights sleep. Things always look brighter in the morning and disagreements seem to melt away.
Give each other room
My parents and his both had long term marriages. My parents did everything together, every day, every event, every meal together. They lived for each other. His parents did not. His dad worked, his mom went to church and worked to keep busy. They respected each other but didn't have many common interests. They had their family in common and loved to visit their kids and grandkids or take them on trips. They lived for their family.
We had wonderful examples in both sets of parents. We are in the middle. We enjoy doing things together, we like to travel, eat out, watch movies and visit our kids. But I don't go to football games and he never joins me at my knitting group. We attend church together, but haven't been involved much recently. I visit or even travel with friends without reproach from him. He gives me my space. We enjoy being at home together, but often we are doing different things. It's a comfortable time, not icy. So "joined at the hip" we are not, but we like to spend time together.
We have weathered some pretty nasty storms in our marriage but we both are good about keeping the past in the past. I didn't used to be able to do that...haha..but have learned it's best.
Now we are looking at retirement together. That is a big step. We want to scale back, make a move into a smaller abode and take life easy. We need to live on less. One parent left to watch over. All children launched successfully. We are very lucky for being as imperfect as we are.
Happy Anniversary! May our long term marriage continue happily.